Moving on up

I only have about ten minutes to write, and I didn't even plan on writing at all but figured I should, so here I go, having no idea what I'm going to say...

This year has been interesting. I came back expecting things to be similar to how they were before--not quite the same as people's roles have changed and all my friends aren't living in the same place as me anymore, but still similar. I was pretty taken aback by the drastic differences. I've finally realized now the difference a summer can make. On Sunday, it suddenly struck me that I cannot approach my relationships as just being resumed from last year--I've changed, and so has everyone else. I almost need to step back, reevaluate, and start from nearly the beginning in re-getting to know everyone, even the people closest to me. It's an odd feeling; it was quite disconcerting at first, but now that I think I've got a better idea of what I'm doing, it's not a bad thing.

I've also been hit lately with how young I am. I'm 18. I live on a college campus which, by definition, holds some of American's youngest adults, and I'm still younger than most of them. At the same time, I feel really old. Last year I only worried about classes and focused on building relationships with those whom I lived with. This year, I've abruptly had three part-time jobs thrust upon me, and I'm leading a group of freshmen. What happened? I can't do this! Yet I am. I'm not sure I like growing up. Growing, sure, is a good thing; growing up, not so much.

If this sounds like a complaint, it's not meant as such. It's more observation than anything else. Well, with that, I'm not sure what else to say.

Tis so sweet

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take him at his word

Just to rest upon his promise

Just to know, Thus saith the Lord

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him

How I've proved him o'er and o'er

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust him more

Normally I like to post my own thoughts and ideas in my blogs, but in the case of these past two weeks, Louisa Stead, who wrote this song, says it fare more concisely than I ever could. There's so much I could say about camp, about Terra Firma in general, about this first week of classes, about what I've been learning--but it would take significantly more time than I currently have. I'll cover a couple highlights.

At camp, I found it interesting that God was trying to teach me some of the exact same things that he was trying to teach me at camp last year. Part of me found this frustrating--I STILL haven't learned. Simultaneously, it was comforting; though I'm stubborn and slow, he hasn't given up on me.

Camp was fantastic. I kept having one revelation about God after another, getting to know him more each day. Thus it wasn't surprising that coming back to school combined with getting sick left me feeling somewhat estranged from God and the closeness I had only a couple days before. On Saturday night, sick as I was, I went for a walk to get out and talk to God for a while. I told him of my disappointment and asked him to teach me something new about himself every day, then pondered the fact that God is so unfathomably awesome that I could discover something new about him every day of my life and there would still be more left unknown. Sitting in church Sunday morning, God told me, to both my chagrin and delight, that he's ALWAYS teaching me something new--I just have to open my eyes and look for it. Since then, he keeps proving that even in the little situations, he knows what's best for me.